Over the past few years, I’ve noticed a shift in the way brides approach dress shopping. Not in their style, their budgets, or who they bring with them. But, in their mindset.
A few months ago, while our kids were in school, my husband and I popped into a local furniture store to see if they had anything similar to a sofa I was planning on buying online. After chatting with the salesperson, we sat down on a sofa to discuss what we really wanted in the space. Long story short, we ended up finding the perfect pieces: a sofa, two chairs, a coffee table, and a rug! This seemed overwhelming to me because I was just coming in to look and compare ideas. But, the clarity couldn’t be denied. I thought about how, if I was about to spend all this money, I wanted to make that (gulp) large purchase while I was excited and felt clarity, rather than agonize and question my own thoughts for a week or two, spend countless hours scrolling Restoration Hardware, still to come back and swipe my card for the same amount of money, but feeling drained and silly for overthinking. Wouldn’t it be so fun to go home and start envisioning this new furniture? So with my husband’s encouragement, that’s what we did. Weeks later, my furniture was delivered and sure enough it was perfect- and so much better than what I would have bought online.
Very often, I see a bride fall in love with a dress, but then she then walks away from it. Not because something feels wrong, but because it feels too right too quickly. Instead of trusting that clarity, she pauses. She asks for more time. She takes photos. She asks for opinions. She analyzes.
And slowly, what started as a joyful experience becomes something else entirely.
Overthinking.
And I know it usually comes from a good place. Of course brides want to be sure (we want them to be sure, too!). They want to feel confident. They understand the weight and meaning of the decision they are making. In a world that encourages research, comparison, and constant feedback, hesitation can feel responsible.
But here is what I’ve learned after eighteen years in this industry.
I have seen far more brides question their dress decision after taking their time, continuing to shop, and seeking outside opinions than I have ever seen from brides who trusted their gut and leaned into the feeling they had in the moment.
The regret doesn’t usually come from choosing too quickly. It comes from walking away from clarity and from second guessing something that felt peaceful and right, and then trying to recreate or “beat” that feeling weeks or months later.
When a bride steps away from a dress she loves, the decision moves out of her body and into her mind. Instead of thinking about how she feels, she starts asking what everyone else thinks. The process becomes heavier and often more confusing.
The bride who once felt confidence and joy can start feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and unsure. And so the her goal quietly changes. It stops being about choosing a dress that feels right and starts being about ending the process. When that happens, the final decision is often made out of exhaustion rather than excitement. And this always makes me so incredibly sad for her. This is why, when a bride tells me she feels calm, confident, and like herself in a dress, I gently encourage her to listen.
Finding your dress does not always feel dramatic or emotional in the way social media suggests it should. Sometimes it feels grounding. Sometimes it’s quiet. But it should always feel clear. And I promise we are never rushing you. We are not “trying to make a sale”. We are trying to protect something delicate: your experience.
In a world that constantly tells us to keep looking and keep comparing, clarity can feel uncomfortable. But after you take that leap, the other side is heavenly: the assuredness, the way you’ll fall deeper in love with your dress as more time goes by, the fun of telling your friends and coworkers about how you found it. And when you visualize your wedding day, I know from firsthand experience that it seems so much more clear when you know what you’ll be wearing on that day. This is when the fun truly begins.
My hope is that brides walk into their appointments knowing this: you are allowed to choose joy. You are allowed to trust your gut. You are allowed to say yes when something feels right, even if social media tells you to keep scrolling or your friends tell you to sleep on it.
Cheering you on- you can do it! xx, Leslie
